The Chaos of My Dreams

Somewhere in a jungly part of the world, I was on a vacation. It was the end of a two week trip that felt like a lot longer. We had begun to connect with the community and its people and were finding ways to help them, getting them much needed services like food and housing. But, it was time for us to leave. We had ideas of how we would come back and continue to help these people and at the same time be able to make a good living at it. The ideas were flowing, but we had to get back to the Airbnb to clean it up, pack, and be ready to head back home on an international flight at 6 o’clock the next morning. It was doable. Then the chaos began.

Whose idea was it to have a party that night? Everyone was invited. I didn’t know where all these people came from, but they were in our house. My anxiety was escalating as more and more people came. There was a band in the garage and people mingling about dancing and having a good time. In the backyard there was a DJ around the pool, people enjoying themselves with drink in hand. In every room of the house was a different and bigger mess. One family came and thought they were coming to a nonprofit fundraiser and decided to donate all of their unwanted clothes. There were piles and piles of them all around the house. On another piece of the property, there were vendors set up and circus and fair like games and rides. I remember walking around thinking how am I going to clean all of this up so we can get out of here in a few hours? My anxiety was rising and rising and rising. No one seemed to understand how much needed to be done before we could really do what we wanted to do, and help people. Why, if that was our plan, are we filling up every inch of our physical and emotional space with something else? Then my alarm went off.

I was dreaming. I was thankful, somewhat relieved, but still very anxious. I got out of bed to begin my day. The dream was very vivid as I walked through my house, in real life, and found mess after mess after mess, things to do, things to put away, things to take care of, things that needed to be done before I could get to my real work. So, I tackled each one. There were a lot. I live with three teenage boys, a husband, and three dogs. Every one of them has their own special kind of mess, and a pile of laundry to go along with it. Before each of my wonderful family members left for school or work that morning, I had a very serious, short, conversation with them. I said no more. They were in charge of their own selves and I was no longer going to allow my needs and wants to be side railed by other peoples’ choices and messes. They were all very understanding and empathetic and agreed to be more conscious of my need to have our physical environment around us clean and tidy.

My mind does not work well in chaos, yet it’s all around me. I allow it. Taking your own power back, no longer allowing your life to be filled with unnecessary chaos, will allow space and clarity for you to do the work you came here to do. Fortunately, growth comes from difficulty. Recognize the chaos, your dreams will alert you if you’re not paying attention, and do something about it. You deserve it. Like the beauty of the lotus flower that grows out of mud, so do we.

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